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Как избавиться от токсичных привычек?

Токсичные привычки можно назвать ядом для личности. Человек испытывает те чувства, эмоции и общается с теми людьми, которые разрушают ее изнутри. Некоторые привычки навязаны нам с детства: нас учат терпеть, быть лояльными и вежливыми. Однако этим часто пользуются люди, настроенные на негатив. Давайте рассмотрим часто возникающие проблемы и их решения.

Боязнь сказать «нет»

На самом деле, это почти такое же волшебное слово, как и «пожалуйста». Если вы готовы в любое время дня и ночи прийти на помощь, отдать последнюю рубашку, выйти на работу в свой законный выходной, вы автоматически становитесь жертвой манипуляторов.

Вы не умеете говорить «нет», а потому каждый может украсть ваше время, не давая ничего взамен. Быть удобным для всех, бояться отказать друзьям, коллегам — это действительно токсична привычка.

Как преодолеть:

Понять, что ваше самопожертвование никто не оценит.

Всегда требовать чего-то на замену (если надо работать в выходной, сделать чью-то работу — попросите отгул; друг просит подвезти — пусть угостит кофе).

Игнорировать негатив и не обращать внимания на обиженных. Когда вас о чем-то просят, вы имеете полное право отказаться без объяснения причин.

Деструктивные чувства: ревность, зависть

Это те эмоции, которые вызывают токсичные отношения между мужчиной и женщиной, друзьями или коллегами. Над преодолением привычки придется много работать, ведь она связана с внутренними проблемами личности. Придется повышать самооценку, учиться доверять партнеру, искать положительные черты в себе, а не завидовать другим.

Первые шаги:

  • Останавливать себя, если возникает даже самое слабое чувство ревности или зависти.

  • Заниматься самоанализом и не накручивать ситуацию.

  • Отказаться от развития деструктивного чувства в коллективе (перестать сплетничать, осуждать).

Постоянное чувство вины

С этим живут люди, которые считают себя недостаточно успешными, добрыми, красивыми, богатыми и тому подобное. На самом деле, постоянное чувство вины формируется еще в детстве. Если родители все время попрекают, то ребенок перестает воспринимать себя как полноценную личность.

Из таких детей вырастают взрослые, которые стремятся соответствовать ожиданиям окружающих и любой ценой нравиться всем. В марафоне «стать лучшим» человек теряет ощущение себя, подменяет истинные потребности надуманными, проще говоря, проживает не свою жизнь.

Как с этим справиться:

  • Не пытаться оправдать чьи-то ожидания.

  • Выяснить, что действительно важно для себя, а не для кого-то.

  • Свести к минимуму общение с теми, кто формирует чувство вины

Выслушивание жалоб

Наверное, каждый знает человека, который любит жаловаться. У него всегда тяжелая ситуация, куча проблем и вообще все плохо. Если вы до сих пор позволяете переливать чужой негатив на себя, немедленно прекратите это делать. Делиться проблемами — это нормально, но в разумных пределах.

Чем больше вы слушаете о чьих-то проблемах, тем больше это откладывается в вашей голове. Подсознательно вы ищете способ помочь и начинаете решать чужие, а не собственные проблемы. Вы также перенимаете и негативное настроение, что тоже нехорошо.

Как действовать:

  • Останавливать поток «проблем»: скажите, что вы все понимаете, но хотите говорить о чем-то положительном.

  • Если пункт 1 не действует, ограничьте общение с таким человеком. Если он опять начинает говорить о негативе, кладите трубку, старайтесь закончить разговор, встречу.

  • Не обещайте помочь. Согласитесь с тем, что у собеседника хватает проблем, но и у вас их не меньше.

Мстить

В психологическом плане месть — деструктивное действие. Если вас обидели или подставили, факт уже состоялся. Вам было неприятно, больно, но это прошло. Важно научиться отпускать ситуацию, перерастать ее. Жить в состоянии «Вот сейчас я сделаю что-то такое, чтобы тебе было так же больно» очень истощает. Ваше внимание смещается с себя на другого человека, который и так поступил с вами плохо.

Поэтому:

  • Учитесь работать над эмоциями, переживать их, а не утолять неприятные чувства.

  • Поймите, что нужно жить дальше ради себя, а не ради роскошной мести.

  • Спросите себя: «будет ли это так же важно через 1, 5, 10 лет?». Вероятно, вы придаете больший вес поступку, чем это есть на самом деле.

  • Отпускайте людей. Вас могли покинуть не за то, что вы такие. Часто мы видим ситуацию в более темных тонах, чем есть на самом деле.

Надеяться, что он (она) измениться

Так часто бывает в неудачных отношениях. Один из партнеров напрасно надеется, что своей любовью сможет изменить человека. Но, как правило, этого недостаточно. Так формируются пары, где есть место психологическому и физическому насилию или один из партнеров страдает алкоголизмом или употребляет наркотики. Никакие уговоры, шантаж, выдвижение требований, ультиматумы на него не действуют. Поэтому воспитание напрасных надежд разрушает прежде всего вашу жизнь.

Если вы чувствуете, что ваши чувства разрушают вас изнутри, то единственный выход — диагностировать в себе токсичные привычки и стараться их преодолеть. Осознание — это первый эффективный шаг к здоровой психике. Конечно, избавиться от всех токсических привычек самостоятельно будет непросто, но существует много квалифицированных психологов, которые помогут справиться с проблемами.

Светлана, www.vitamarg.com

Источник: vitamarg.com

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